Posted by: nichole | December 30, 2019

Resilience and Renaissance: 2010-2019

Waterfall

About a month ago, I realized we are ending a decade. I guess when you get to a certain age you don’t look at the years the same, especially when they are grouped in 10s. Let’s face it. Moving from 2019 to 2020 isn’t the same as the craze of moving from 1999 to 2000. I still remember all the Y2K buzz. If anything, in the last 20 years since 1999, I have seen greater resiliency amid chaos and hardships. And there have been hardships and chaos on many fronts, from global to my personal lows. But guess what? We are still standing and ready to face what 2020 and beyond will bring.

I started this current decade in another country. In December 2009, it never crossed my mind that 10 years later I would be back in the US as I entered the year 2020.

How did I get here?

Some of the things I remember from early in the decade revolve around career and layoffs. Between 2010 and 2019, I experienced three. What I learned is that layoffs are challenging but don’t have to be limiting.

Going through a layoff can have you attacking your self-worth (I did) but it doesn’t define you and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Layoffs happen. While it’s the end of that job, it is not “the” end. It’s often the beginning of something new.

Aging InScreenshot_20191230-142532_2

During this decade I turned 50. I know, I know. I don’t look 50. Thank you for thinking it. Y’all, I’m not going to say 50 is the new 30 or 40 but I will say the 50’s have been pretty good, so far. Yes, there are changes in the body (expected), but the mindset is the kicker. I love this place of having experience and wisdom but also being open to experience new things. I no longer worry, like I did when I was younger, about what other people think.

Friendship and Faith

Two areas that have grown immensely for me in the last ten years is in friendship and faith. I have an amazing circle of friends. I have been able to reconnect with friends from high school and previous jobs I have held. I am extremely grateful for the friends that have stuck with me as I have moved from place to place, and the ones I don’t get a chance to talk to very often (due to life) but are tried and true because the friendships started on such a firm foundation.

i-DnwCmLZ-SDuring the decade, I have also gained a greater circle of friends that are like family. A lot of the time, you don’t know what you need until you get it. The job played a big part in this area. One great connection led me to others. And my friends are what I needed. I have a sister-friend circle in SoCal that is legit. I am excited for how the laughter continues into 2020. And I won’t leave out the other friends I’ve made that are incredible. Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” It’s the law of averages, baby!

Now about faith… I moved to SoCal on December 30, 2013. I was laid off from an agency position earlier that year, January 2nd to be exact, and I couldn’t find a job. So, in October, I let go of the shame and sent a broadcast for open opportunities and the chance to move. By that time, I knew I would have to leave Vancouver. My lease was up in December and it was clear my time there was ending. Then opportunity presented itself, and I prayed a simple prayer:

“Lord, if you open this door, I will be present in building a greater relationship with you. I will find a church home and be committed to that place.”

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The door opened and I have kept that promise. But prayers are funny because they don’t always work out the way we think but the outcome is so much greater. I got the job and 18 months later, I experienced my 3rd layoff in the decade. Had I not been committed to my church and the people there, it would have lost it. But they held me up. Like my friends, they constantly affirmed me, reminding me who I am and Whose I am. Church was my refuge and it gave me an outlet to serve. If you are ever feeling low, the antidote is to serve others. It changes your heart.

The prayer I prayed in Vancouver for the open door to a job, was for so much more and way beyond my mental capacity. When the job was gone, what was left helped sustain me. And it led to what I am calling my renaissance.

Finishing Strong

DoByWhy Journal + Guidebook by Nichole WessonIf you told me in 2009 that I would be where I am today, I wouldn’t have called you crazy because I am polite like that, but I would have thought it. After many years/decades, I returned to school and got my B.A. in Organizational Leadership in December 2018. I started an online business, Nichole’s Nuggets, in May. I kicked up my coaching business which is at the heart of my passion and purpose. I became a board member for the Conservation Corps of Long Beach. Plus, I wrote a book. What?!?!

Let me be honest. I would have never believed this was possible for me. But know, I didn’t do it alone. Faith and my community got me through. And I am looking to both to walk with me through my next chapter, pursuing my Master’s in Organizational Leadership beginning in January.

Yes, I feel strongly I am experiencing my own, personal renaissance. I think most people are and those that aren’t may not be looking in that direction. A little pivot will make the difference in how you view the last 10 years and how you anticipate the years to come.

Psalm 37_4 (1)

 

Posted by: nichole | December 9, 2019

I did it! I wrote a book!

There are many ways to look at December and the end of the year. In the past, it has been a time for reflection but last year it changed to one of celebration. Last December I graduated with my B.A. in Organizational Leadership. This year, I get to celebrate another personal accomplishment — I finished writing, I’m printing and selling my book.

Welcome DoByWhy: Journal + Guidebook to Create, Attain, and Achieve your Goals into the world.

DoByWhy Journal + Guidebook by Nichole Wesson

The DoByWhy idea began for me in 2017. At the time, I didn’t know what I would do with it but I started seeing how DoByWhy applies to many areas of personal and professional development. Deciding to write a book about goal setting and achieving took a different path.

First, let me make a statement…”I was not a champion of setting goals.” I share some of this in the book but it came to light on my 9-to-5 job. Each year, employees were mandated to set goals for the year as a bar for employee reviews. I always knew what I wanted to accomplish but I never felt my goals were for my personal development and growth. I wanted goals that would stretch me and give me opportunities to learn and apply new techniques beyond my day-to-day responsibilities. My view was different than that of my manager. As you can imagine, I viewed goal setting as a frustrating and tedious task. My remedy was to look at setting goals differently, in a way that wasn’t tedious and was personal to the individual.

I started thinking about this book in November 2018 when I searched for a combination journal and goal instruction book but couldn’t find one. So, I decided to write it.

It feels pretty amazing to create something that others will use to achieve their goals and make their vision a reality. If you need to know one thing about me, you should know I am a person who wants to see people achieve success, especially those who have been put down or lack the confidence to believe success is for them.

As excited as I am about the book, I am also excited about hosting webinars and classes to help guide people in creating goals using the DoByWhy method. The first webinar is scheduled for Tuesday, December 10th at 5:30 P.M. (PT). You can register at nicholewesson.com/events. While you are there, take a look at the other events currently scheduled for January and February, and stay in touch for more to follow.

As I have shared this venture with others, I have been told how difficult it has been for them to set goals. These are the folks I wrote the book for because they are just like me. Birds of a feather, indeed.

To learn more about DoByWhy: Journal + Guidebook to Create, Attain, and Achieve your Goals and to order your copy, visit the DoByWhy Journal page at dobywhyjournal.com.

 

Note: The book is self-published and is not available on Amazon, right now. 

Posted by: nichole | November 7, 2019

Take time to breathe

It has been a busy year for me with several significant changes and a lot of growth in the direction of entrepreneurship. I launched a video series in March for adults interested in and those already returning to school to pursue their degree. I have an online t-shirt store, Nichole’s Nuggets, where you can purchase shirts I’ve created based on empowering statements I have used in my coaching and consulting practice. I’ve been writing more and have shared many of those articles on Medium.com. And, before the end of the year, I will publish journal and guidebook about setting and achieving goals.

Your girl has been busy, which is why it has been more than important to remember to stop and breathe. If I don’t, I will keep going because there is always something to do when you are in creation and building mode. That is why I am a fan of apps and sites like eXHALeR and Calm. You have to sign up for Calm but eXHALeR can be accessed in your browser of choice.

Whether you use an app, program or on your own fruition, take some time today to just breathe.

 

Posted by: nichole | July 29, 2019

Why I don’t like or use the word “boss”

boss nameplate

Last year, I started to learn Spanish. I felt it was an important skill for work and my interest in expanding my cultural intelligence. One lesson in my Spanish course focused on the workplace. This lesson included worlds like trabajador (worker), trabajo (work), oficinia (office), acuerdo (agreement), and reunion (meeting). I could not help but pause when it was being taught “el jefe” and “la jefa” which means “boss” in the language.

A lot of people have an aversion to certain words in the English language. The word “moist” often tops the list and there is science that supports why these words are hated. According to April 27, 2016, PLOS ONE journal article, the aversion to the word moist and other disliked words like crevice and slacks relates to several reasons. Those reasons include how it sounds, the connotations to actual physical response and actions, as well as the facial movements used when saying the words out loud. But what would science say about my aversion to the word “boss” in any language?

Let me be clear. I am OK if “boss” is used in certain phrases and connotations like “girl boss,” “boss bitch,” “boss up,” “like a boss,” and “who’s the boss.” I am even OK with “mob boss.” But when someone is speaking with me about the person they report to, I will quickly correct them. “Manager” is the more appropriate word to use, not boss.

For me, the word “boss” implies full control over everything I do. It is a word that has too much power. The people who are called boss, in my opinion, don’t have the same level of power the word conveys. For that matter, the person you report to is your manager. They are not your boss.

A former co-worker who was a training manager often referred to the people she trained as “boss.” In simple conversations or even in training sessions she would use the term for others. She used the word “boss” as a nickname. Giving it more thought, the way she used “boss” when referring to others was rather brilliant. When she referred to us all as “boss,” she let us know that we were powerful. Equally powerful. And, she never seemed to expect to be called “boss” in return.

In business, many may equate boss to leadership. I won’t assign to this either. Leadership is related to influence and anyone can be a leader. I would go as far as to say that the best leaders understand the power they have and use it wisely. They do not need the term “boss” to define their position. Their position is defined by the people they influence and how those people feel about that specific leader.

I don’t think most people have given the use of the word too much thought. As you can see, I have. Maybe some of it comes from seeing older family members refer to people who don’t look like them as “boss.” Doing so is an immediate transfer of power. Here is yet another reason I dislike the word.

No one has full control over everything a person does, do they? Maybe this is where free will comes into play. But even on a job, an employee has a choice. It is that choice that limits the power of their manager. With that, we are our el jefe or la jefa. You are the true boss.

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