Posted by: nichole | December 9, 2019

I did it! I wrote a book!

There are many ways to look at December and the end of the year. In the past, it has been a time for reflection but last year it changed to one of celebration. Last December I graduated with my B.A. in Organizational Leadership. This year, I get to celebrate another personal accomplishment — I finished writing, I’m printing and selling my book.

Welcome DoByWhy: Journal + Guidebook to Create, Attain, and Achieve your Goals into the world.

DoByWhy Journal + Guidebook by Nichole Wesson

The DoByWhy idea began for me in 2017. At the time, I didn’t know what I would do with it but I started seeing how DoByWhy applies to many areas of personal and professional development. Deciding to write a book about goal setting and achieving took a different path.

First, let me make a statement…”I was not a champion of setting goals.” I share some of this in the book but it came to light on my 9-to-5 job. Each year, employees were mandated to set goals for the year as a bar for employee reviews. I always knew what I wanted to accomplish but I never felt my goals were for my personal development and growth. I wanted goals that would stretch me and give me opportunities to learn and apply new techniques beyond my day-to-day responsibilities. My view was different than that of my manager. As you can imagine, I viewed goal setting as a frustrating and tedious task. My remedy was to look at setting goals differently, in a way that wasn’t tedious and was personal to the individual.

I started thinking about this book in November 2018 when I searched for a combination journal and goal instruction book but couldn’t find one. So, I decided to write it.

It feels pretty amazing to create something that others will use to achieve their goals and make their vision a reality. If you need to know one thing about me, you should know I am a person who wants to see people achieve success, especially those who have been put down or lack the confidence to believe success is for them.

As excited as I am about the book, I am also excited about hosting webinars and classes to help guide people in creating goals using the DoByWhy method. The first webinar is scheduled for Tuesday, December 10th at 5:30 P.M. (PT). You can register at While you are there, take a look at the other events currently scheduled for January and February, and stay in touch for more to follow.

As I have shared this venture with others, I have been told how difficult it has been for them to set goals. These are the folks I wrote the book for because they are just like me. Birds of a feather, indeed.

To learn more about DoByWhy: Journal + Guidebook to Create, Attain, and Achieve your Goals and to order your copy, visit the DoByWhy Journal page at


Note: The book is self-published and is not available on Amazon, right now. 

Posted by: nichole | November 7, 2019

Take time to breathe

It has been a busy year for me with several significant changes and a lot of growth in the direction of entrepreneurship. I launched a video series in March for adults interested in and those already returning to school to pursue their degree. I have an online t-shirt store, Nichole’s Nuggets, where you can purchase shirts I’ve created based on empowering statements I have used in my coaching and consulting practice. I’ve been writing more and have shared many of those articles on And, before the end of the year, I will publish journal and guidebook about setting and achieving goals.

Your girl has been busy, which is why it has been more than important to remember to stop and breathe. If I don’t, I will keep going because there is always something to do when you are in creation and building mode. That is why I am a fan of apps and sites like eXHALeR and Calm. You have to sign up for Calm but eXHALeR can be accessed in your browser of choice.

Whether you use an app, program or on your own fruition, take some time today to just breathe.


Posted by: nichole | July 29, 2019

Why I don’t like or use the word “boss”

boss nameplate

Last year, I started to learn Spanish. I felt it was an important skill for work and my interest in expanding my cultural intelligence. One lesson in my Spanish course focused on the workplace. This lesson included worlds like trabajador (worker), trabajo (work), oficinia (office), acuerdo (agreement), and reunion (meeting). I could not help but pause when it was being taught “el jefe” and “la jefa” which means “boss” in the language.

A lot of people have an aversion to certain words in the English language. The word “moist” often tops the list and there is science that supports why these words are hated. According to April 27, 2016, PLOS ONE journal article, the aversion to the word moist and other disliked words like crevice and slacks relates to several reasons. Those reasons include how it sounds, the connotations to actual physical response and actions, as well as the facial movements used when saying the words out loud. But what would science say about my aversion to the word “boss” in any language?

Let me be clear. I am OK if “boss” is used in certain phrases and connotations like “girl boss,” “boss bitch,” “boss up,” “like a boss,” and “who’s the boss.” I am even OK with “mob boss.” But when someone is speaking with me about the person they report to, I will quickly correct them. “Manager” is the more appropriate word to use, not boss.

For me, the word “boss” implies full control over everything I do. It is a word that has too much power. The people who are called boss, in my opinion, don’t have the same level of power the word conveys. For that matter, the person you report to is your manager. They are not your boss.

A former co-worker who was a training manager often referred to the people she trained as “boss.” In simple conversations or even in training sessions she would use the term for others. She used the word “boss” as a nickname. Giving it more thought, the way she used “boss” when referring to others was rather brilliant. When she referred to us all as “boss,” she let us know that we were powerful. Equally powerful. And, she never seemed to expect to be called “boss” in return.

In business, many may equate boss to leadership. I won’t assign to this either. Leadership is related to influence and anyone can be a leader. I would go as far as to say that the best leaders understand the power they have and use it wisely. They do not need the term “boss” to define their position. Their position is defined by the people they influence and how those people feel about that specific leader.

I don’t think most people have given the use of the word too much thought. As you can see, I have. Maybe some of it comes from seeing older family members refer to people who don’t look like them as “boss.” Doing so is an immediate transfer of power. Here is yet another reason I dislike the word.

No one has full control over everything a person does, do they? Maybe this is where free will comes into play. But even on a job, an employee has a choice. It is that choice that limits the power of their manager. With that, we are our el jefe or la jefa. You are the true boss.

Posted by: nichole | May 20, 2019

In the Room: CQ, Diversity, and Insights

conference room, board room, conference table

Last week, I had the opportunity to sit in on a vendor presentation. The vendor presented on cultural intelligence (CQ) and research as it relates to consumer behavior. This is an area that I am extremely passionate about. The manager who scheduled the meeting knows me pretty well to have included me on the invite. He is also very strategic. Looking around the room, I didn’t see the normal faces that would typically be there. There were no executives and none of the other limited demographics often seen in board and conference rooms. Of the eight of us attending, only two were directors. Everyone else was below director-level. And while the titles of the people attending are interesting, what was more interesting was the diverse mix of cultural backgrounds and ethnicities.

To most folks, it makes sense to have a cultural mix attending a presentation on cultural intelligence. Or so you would think. There have been several national campaigns that have failed miserably by alienating different groups and cultures. More than likely the reason has been the creative minds and decision-makers were not diverse. They did not have the right mix of diversity in the room.

The diverse mix of people in last week’s presentation included me, the African-American woman, two women of Hispanic/Latin culture, two men of Asian descent and there was someone on the phone who I didn’t know. What I noticed during the Q&A part of the presentation was no one focused on how the research applied to their individual cultural alliance. Instead, we all considered how the topic and available research and insights would apply to the work we are doing.

So why is it still an issue to get the right people in the room when working on new strategies and corporate directions? I did something deliberate when I wrote the previous sentence. I included the word “right.” Part of the problem is how leadership determines who is “right” for the meeting. Most of the time, the “right” people are those with a title. But are those really the “right” people? The other issue is that so many don’t look around the table to see who’s missing. This highlights the problem when people say “they don’t see color.” We need to you see color. When you see color, you can better determine and identify when a lack of color at the table and in the decision-making process is missing.

I previously mentioned the manager who planned the presentation was strategic. He sees color and culture and also, opportunity. He understands that diversity influences innovation. Granted, he and I talk about it often. And we aren’t the only ones. Diversity and innovation are two major topics the Harvard Business Review writes about in their magazine and online. A 2016 article cites

“a 2015 McKinsey report on 366 public companies and found that those in the top quartile for ethnic and racial diversity in management were 35% more likely to have financial returns above their industry mean, and those in the top quartile for gender diversity were 15% more likely to have returns above the industry mean” (HBR, Why Diverse Teams Are Smarter).

That was in 2015. Can you imagine how those numbers have changed in a few short years?

When I hear of the backlash due to cultural insensitivity in an advertising campaign or specific consumer products, I always wonder who was in the room where it happened (my Hamilton reference). The Pepsi commercial with one of the Jenners, Heineken’s “Lighter is better”, Prada’s blackface products, H&M, Gucci, Nivea, and Dolce & Gabbana are some of the instances and brands that have shown the apparent lack of CQ. When I see these stories, I can’t hwlp but wonder who was in the room. Or, who wasn’t.

“Diversity shouldn’t enter the conversation only after a brand or an advertising campaign offends people”

AdWeek, “Brands Still Have a Lot to Learn About Diversity and Creating Inclusive Work Environments”

Unfortunately, having cultures represented in the room is not enough. The people at the table must also have a voice, an opportunity to speak and share their insight. They must be viewed as resources not just for the cultural aspect but for their overall input toward organizational effectiveness.

To better understand consumer behaviors, brands have to accept and embrace the different buying behaviors of different cultures.  Ask questions. Conduct focus groups. Business should enlist and rely on their employees from all cultures and backgrounds. I believe the solution is pretty simple…

Open the invitation to have others at the table and in the room.


Want to know more about cultural intelligence (CQ)?



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