Tread Lightly is a a new blog series that focuses on specific issues that can make or break us. Issues will be both personal and professional, relate to observations and a-ha moments.
For most of my adult life, I have been a single woman. No, this issue is not about me finding a man but about how being a single woman can affect other woman who aren’t single. What compounds this issue is that I can get along well with men. Platonic relationships, of course.
Many single women aren’t aware of how their single-dom can be a problem for others. When they go around wives, girlfriends and other women in committed relationships with them, they don’t give much thought to their position. Many dress like they are on the prowl (insert “Cougar” reference HERE) because some single women are on the prowl and feel there’s a potential hook-up/introduction at the next party, drinks at the bar, or pot luck. Oh, and they come prepared: dressed to impress, impeccably applied makeup, accentuating their best asset(s). Next thing you know, the invitations stop coming until there’s a change in your relationship status on Facebook. It doesn’t matter if it says “It’s Complicated.” This just means there is something to be complicated.
Now about the women in relationships near these single women (I’ve been there too). You may be justified in how you feel. But keep in mind most women don’t want your man. They are so happy for you that they would do cartwheels up and down the street to celebrate your relationship. Don’t leave the single ladies out of the mix. They are a good draw (and hook-up) for that particular friend of your man that you just cannot stand. She could be a great distraction for his endless nights at your place or numerous calls to your man to spend time with him when you already have plans–together.
Don’t get me wrong. There are many committed women who are comfortable in their relationships and being around the singles. Those ladies ROCK! (I have been one of these too).
Nevertheless, for the single ladies and some of those committed ones, tread lightly.