I was watching “The Chew,” a new morning talk show focusing on food and lifestyle topics. One of the hosts is Carla Hill.

As you may know, Carla competed on “Top Chef” for two seasons. She didn’t win in either season but she was a fan favorite and a darling in blogs and other media. That’s how I learned who she was. Plus, she has that great hair and overall style. Seeing her on The Chew made me realize that even though she didn’t win on Top Chef it doesn’t mean she’s not a winner. She’s a host of a new show on ABC for goodness sake.

In some cases second runner-ups end up having greater success than the winner. One of the greatest success stories from not being the winner is Jennifer Hudson from American Idol. Jennifer finished 7th. She’s also the only American Idol contestant to have a Golden Globe and an Academy Award.

If there’s one lesson you can learn from reality tv competitions it’s that losing doesn’t mean you’ve lost everything. It just means you lost that competition. It can be your stepping stone to something equal or even greater.

The same principle applies in life. Ok, you didn’t get that job but there’s probably another, better opportunity close. It didn’t work out with the guy (or girl) you thought was the love of your life. You may have dodged that bullet.

Losing is only the end if you allow it to be.