It’s been more than several years since my divorce was final. I’ve had my ups and downs but mostly I’ve taken a lot of time to feel “ready” for a new relationship. Now that I feel I’m ready, I thought I would share some tips based on my experience for surviving a divorce.
- Find your support group. It could be a member of your family, friends or co-workers but learn who you can talk to about how you are feeling and coping. Not everyone is equipped.
- Don’t be afraid to speak to a professional. Therapists have gone through training for a reason. If an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is part of your health insurance, take advantage of the benefit.
- Be ok with making whatever other changes you need for your life. In Neale Donald Walsch‘s book, “When Everything Changes, Change Everything,” provides nine changes that can change everything because ultimately, changes in your life are not going to stop.
- Grieve. Whether happy or sad about your divorce, feel free to take time to grieve.
- Buy great underwear…for you. Ok, so this tip is more for women than men. Literally!
- Purge. I’m a firm believer in de-cluttering. This tip is not for you to go through your picture album (old school) and tear him (or her) out of them. Nor is it meant for you to toss out all the gifts your ex gave you. Purge means to get rid of the things in your life, physical and non-physical, that you don’t view to be a part of your new life. Anything that keeps you in old behaviors, thoughts, and even pain, feel free to giveaway, donate, or sell on eBay.
The last tip I want to share may seem harsh or even at times, difficult to do. Celebrate! My meaning of celebrate is not necessarily to throw a party even though divorce parties are becoming more popular. Celebrate, take care of yourself, be nice to yourself and honor yourself. If that means taking a trip, do it. For some, it’s spa treatments. Do something (or several things) that will make you happy.
The biggest and best lesson I’ve learned is not to discount the person you are. Divorce is by no means the end of the world. Nor does a divorce mean that you can’t and won’t love again. That’s the beauty of starting over.